Indeed it has been a while since I’ve posted anything on this blog. A lot has happened since I last did. For instance, I got a job, I have sent Saving Me to the editor and hope to have it back within the next week, my car croaked on me but luckily I got it fixed for a relatively good rate, etc; But lets focus on the part where I sent my MS to the editor shall we?
Hitting that send button is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. And it’s like, no matter how many times you’ve done it before, it’s still just as hard. I know I shouldn’t think like this but I always wonder “What if the editor hates it? What if she tells me it’s garbage?”. So many people tell me that your editor is there to help you, not judge you. They are there to make your story and your future stories better. They are there to help you improve-not to tear you down. So I keep reminding myself of that. Still though, I have my moments. I know my first book probably won’t be perfect, it probably won’t be great, but I want my stories to changes lives. I know that sounds crazy so let me explain it to you this way:
Growing up, I was a very angry, depressed kid. A lot of curveballs had been thrown in my direction and I didn’t know how to dodge them. I just kept getting hit by them. And instead of getting up and ignoring the bruises, I would examine them-each one, until I hated myself for not being able to dodge them. In case you don’t know, this is a metaphor for my life. I’m not saying I was beat, or I had it worse than anyone else out there, I’m just saying it was rough, and I didn’t know how to deal. The first full length novel I remember reading was “The Shining” By: Stephen King. I was in the sixth grade and when I was reading it, nothing else mattered. I was in my own little world and all the crap I had been dealing with temporarily dissipated. They always came back but when I would pick up a book, it was almost like I wasn’t me anymore. I was a character in said book. And eventually, I learned how to deal better.
I don’t write fantasy, or supernatural books (although those are wonderful as well). My story-lines are all based on things that can happen to anyone. They are fiction, but it could happen to anyone. So when I get these ideas, it’s almost like, “Alright Kelsie, how would you deal? What would you do?”. If my books could help someone the way others’ books have helped me then I would be ecstatic. I know there are going to be some people who hate what I write. There are going to be some people that don’t necessarily approve of the way my stories end or start, but I also hope there will be some people that love it and that thought is enough to keep me going.